


The Heart Wants What It Wants (Even If It Hurts)

by Forever_And_Always_Dreaming



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Break Up, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Post-Break Up, Unsympathetic Morality | Patton Sanders, brief spoiler of new episode, kind of but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:15:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26994262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Forever_And_Always_Dreaming/pseuds/Forever_And_Always_Dreaming
Summary: Janus and Roman were in love, once. Ever since their break up, Janus has been flirting with Roman to taunt him with their past. But what happens when the taunting turns into flirting? Will the lovers be in love again, or was their relationship doomed from the start?
Relationships: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders
Comments: 4
Kudos: 55





	The Heart Wants What It Wants (Even If It Hurts)

**Author's Note:**

> When you try for months to write a fluffy intrulogical fic but end up reading one (1) Roceit head cannon and end up writing a full Roceit oneshot instead. I don't even actively ship them? Also Roceit fans, how ya'll feeling with these last few episodes? Like damn-- I'm so sorry

_“Love the new outfit, Roman.”_

Initially, he only said such things for simple taunting purposes. A teasing reminder of their old relationship and how they would never have it again. It hurt, but it was easier to cope this way.

But as time went on,

_“I knew you’d like that one.”_

The teasing became less taunting, and instead became more,

_“You know I love you.”_

real. The pretty way Roman’s cheeks heated up each time only fueled Janus to continue. And soon, he was doing it every day. It wasn’t even taunting anymore, it became flirting. As if their relationship had never ended, and they were back to square one or even dating again.

But then came the day of the wedding.

_“Janus? What are you a middle school librarian?”_

His heart twisted painfully in his chest at those words. Roman used to love his name, chanting it over and over between kisses. But since their break up no one had spoken it. Especially not him. And now he was making fun of it? As if nothing ever happened between them. That almost hurt Janus more then he could bear. Except, he powered through it.

At least enough to deliver what he thought was the final blow,

_“Oh Roman thank god you don’t have a mustache otherwise between you and Remus, I wouldn’t know who the evil twin is.”_

But the way Roman had looked so hurt affected Janus the same as Roman’s words did to him. If not, more so.

Janus was so conflicted. Half of him wanted to wrap Roman up in his cape and watch Disney films with him until he forgot all about what Janus had said. The other half was still in pain from his ex-lover’s words and wanted to be left alone for an incredibly long time. But before he could decide, Roman was leaving and Janus couldn’t stop him.

He thought that was the end of everything, until the next video,

_“You can’t have a relationship without truth.”_

That hurt, like a sharp needle stabbing through his heart. Cutting all the memories of them in two. Would they never again have what they used to? Why was it so hard for Janus to move on? Why was he still so in love? He didn’t know all the answers. But he didn’t want to give up on what they had so soon. And that’s how they got to where they are now.

“What do you want?” Roman snapped as he was summoned into Janus’s room. His arms were tightly crossed, eyes pinned to the yellow carpeted floor. How many times was he in this very room, in better circumstances?

“You, mostly.” Janus hummed, uncrossing his legs and standing up from the bed.

“You can stop the act now, you know. There are no cameras around.” Roman said, arms curling to hold him closer. His voice wobbly and high. It seemed like his anger was masking something else. Something deeper then he was letting on.

“What act?” Janus asked, tilting his head to the side as he stepped forward.

“Don’t play coy with me.” Roman snapped. Janus wasn’t scared, in fact this caused him to move closer.

“I’m not playing. Roman, I may have been teasing you in the beginning but I genuinely-” Janus soothed, reaching a gloved hand to touch his cheek.

“Don’t touch me.” Roman interrupts, jerking his head away sharply before Janus’s hand could linger too long.

“I just-”

“No, you can’t just break up with me and then flirt with me again like nothing happened-” Roman gritted out. He gazed into Janus’s eyes for the first time in a while as he spoke. A sickening sensation pooled in his gut, making him feel guilty. The other man’s eyes were blood-red and teary. As if he was about to cry, or had been for a while.

Did he cause this?

“We had to, you know that.” Janus tried, but a tear already slipped down Roman’s cheek. Which was quickly followed by another.

“We? I never wanted any part in it if you remember. But you insisted it would be better for us, and look where it got us.” Roman wiped a few tears away. Janus hesitantly stepped closer, taking off his glove to gently wipe away a tear. He moved to put his hand back against his side but Roman covered it with his own, keeping it against his cheek. Janus’s world became blurry. The sheer act of love within that gesture was too much. How did he deserve this after everything?

“I’m so sorry, my Prince. No matter what Patton said I shouldn’t have-” A warm weight clung tight to him. The familiar of strawberries and cologne pressed tightly against him. Roman was hugging him. And _oh_ , how he missed this. Even if his shirt was wet from where Roman had buried his face in his shoulder, he didn’t care. He merely wanted to be close to the other again.

The two held each other for a long while, gently murmuring apologizes in each other’s hair. Kissing each other on the cheeks, nose, and hands. And finally, their lips. A mixture of cinnamon, strawberry, and lemon tangling to make something wonderful. Something so them that they would have paused to wonder how they had gone without it for so long, if they weren’t so busy wrapped up in each other.

Time seemed to pause. They weren’t quite sure how long it had been since Roman came in anymore. Minutes, hours, perhaps even days had passed. But they could care less anyway. All they wanted was to hold each other. They weren’t letting go.

Not again.


End file.
